I often feel that once you have the diagnosis you aren’t helped to discover what things are related to autism or not, which makes it hard to accept or understand yourself.
Watching Paige’s videos has allowed me to go “oh, maybe that’s why I do this” and “its not just me” which goes a long way in actually understanding your feelings and feeling more at peace.
Paige has autism and anxiety and spreads awareness on social media. She does a lot of stuff about autism in girls. Which I found is something that I’ve struggled a bit with because sometimes I don’t feel like I fit in. I haven’t really told anyone, but I worry that people won’t believe me saying that I have autism because I don’t feel that I fit in some of the stereotypes of autism and everything that I’ve read and seen online.
I haven’t seen anything that really reflects what it’s like for me. I don’t know just feel a bit less alone with Paige’s content, just from seeing that other people may be struggling with the same kind of things.
I think that having some influencers with different diagnosis’ that young people can relate to is so important and would really help a lot of people.
Below I have listed some of Paige’s content that helped me.
Autism traits in girls
Paige Layle YouTube video on 10 Autism Traits in Girls (:
It is well noted through observation and research that there is more gender diversity in neurodiverse people than neurotypical people. As gender and sexuality are social constructs, there is speculation that this relationship is due to the fact that being neurodiverse means you are less likely to adhere to cultural and social norms.
You may be wondering what all these terms mean:
Neurodiverse/Neurodiversity/Neurodivergent – variation in in the human brain. This term is used by people to express that their brains are wired differently due to having neurological conditions and/or disorders: ADHD Autism, Dyspraxia, Dyslexia, etc.
Neurotypical – this is a relatively new term that is used to describe people whose brain develops and functions in ways that are considered ‘normal’. It is the opposite of Neurodivergent.
Gender Diversity – is a measure of how much people’s gender differs from cultural or social norms due to their sex at birth.
Sexuality – is all about how someone identifies themselves in relation to the gender or genders that they are attracted to.
Social Construct – something that only exists as a result of humans agreeing that it exists.
Cultural and Social Norms – rules or expectations based on the shared beliefs of different groups of people that guide behaviour and thoughts.
Talking about experiences and difficulties of the LGBT+ community is extremely important to ATLAS members. This is not only because ATLAS want to be strong allies and raise the voices of minorities, but because a number of members are also part of the LGBT+ community themselves.
“When somebody refers to me as female, I think ‘oooh not really but close enough’. It took me a long time to realise that I don’t experience femininity and being female in the same way [as the people around me] because I am not really female.”
ATLAS member
Image by Sharon McCutcheon
Autism and Gender
ATLAS members reflected on how they weren’t told about the relationship between Autism and gender diversity when they were diagnosed:
“When you are autistic you experience gender in a very different way … no one mentioned this to me when I was diagnosed”
ATLAS member
I am nonbinary, I don’t talk about it much because it doesn’t come up that much. It’s very common with Autism but no one told me!
ATLAS member
How masking impacts self-discovery
Masking is a survival technique that is used by people with Autism to hide behaviours that may not be accepted by the people around them. This is often achieved by learning to display neurotypical behaviours. Ultimately, masking results in having to hide the true self to be protected from negative consequences.
“Masking is a trauma response and trauma screws with everything. Trauma affects people with autism a lot more. I don’t know where the mask ends and where I begin.”
ATLAS member
ATLAS members raised that as a result of masking, it can be difficult to work out who they are:
“When I was younger I would take behaviours I would see and mask using them. A lot of people I was around were heteronormative. It makes it hard for me to understand, I can’t always get my head around what I am or what I like because I have masked for so long.
ATLAS member
As a result some members felt unable identify with labels, which could help them find support from peers and communities:
I went to a university LGBT+ society event and someone came up to me and asked: Well what are you? Why are you here? I don’t know what I am because I find it really hard to process.
ATLAS Member
Labels
“Some people find labels helpful and some people don’t.”
ATLAS member
“For me it was empowering to have my labels, it helps me to break everything down to feel like I have control. But labels are limited in how they explain me. Something I found hard to understand was ‘comphet’: How much is me wanting to be loved? How much is me wanting men to validate me? and how much of it is attraction?”
ATLAS member
Comphet stands for compulsory heterosexuality. This is where heterosexuality is assumed and enforced by society.
“On a call I do at uni they put their pronouns in their Zoom names.”
ATLAS member
ATLAS members and staff loved this idea: members and staff are now invited to put their pronouns in their Zoom names if they want to!
Image by Sharon McCutcheon
Family Stigma
“People in my family are really against it [LGBT+].”
ATLAS member
Whilst family relationships can be extremely important for the wellbeing of children, young people and young adults, unfortunately stigma can lead to bullying, rejection and internalised stigma.
“My dad was very girls belong in the kitchen, seen and not heard. He wanted me to be his little girl and when I didn’t he came to disown me for it. It makes it hard for me to accept who I am. I have never felt comfortable with who I am or how I am. So when I hear people who are able to find themselves, I just don’t understand how they can make those decisions. I was told I couldn’t be gay or bisexual because I was just masking.”
ATLAS member
“Fortunately, I know how some people have a good accepting family, really only my mum accepts. My dad and my sisters think I am going through some sort of phase and that I’m probably stupid.”
ATLAS member
Final thoughts
“I think it is interesting how people have such different experiences.”
ATLAS member
Neurodiverse people, people with Autism, people with disabilities are just as different and individual as neurotypical people, people without an additional need or disability. Talk to us, listen to our experiences and ideas: we are experts in our perspective and have a lot to say!
To make sure that the voices of children, young people and young adults with additional needs and disabilities in the LGBT+ community are heard ATLAS will be starting drop-in sessions to provide a safe space and a platform for voices to be raised.
Recently ATLAS members have been discussing what new starters to the group might want to know before their first session!
In a discussion about what could be included in a new starter pack, the group decided it should include information about the impact of ATLAS: “The Big Picture”.
Together, members made a mind map to express what they thought “The Big Picture of ATLAS” was. Below, some of the young people agreed to share their lived experiences in relation to the impacts mentioned.
The mind map
A screenshot of the mind map made by ATLAS members
The mind map reads:
Challenging assumptions
Activism
Personal empowerment
Job opportunities
Improving services
Opens the discussion
Helping professionals understand the experience of the young people
Promoting the right of people with additional needs and disabilities
Making Surrey more accessible
Surprise professionals with our points of views
Better understanding
Helps young people be seen
Brought about massive change in services brought about us
Share our expertise on our additional needs and disabilities
Empower young people
Empower community
Meet and speak with other people with additional needs and disabilities
Quotes from young people
When working with the UVP Team:
“When you introduce yourself to professionals, they’re like “Oh, I didn’t realize you had an opinion on this”. They seem to be surprised that people who have additional needs and disabilities care about it and know a bit about it.”
The impact of participation on professionals:
“I think people really underestimate the impact that lived experience can have because it’s literally something you have to think about every day. If it is a doctor diagnosing you … they did a couple of lectures. You have it every day so you have to learn about it and they just seem surprised that you could have the motivation to want to know what it going on with you.”
Young person with Autism at university:
“Right now I am learning clinical psychology and I cannot function in my module because it’s like I’m reading about all these kind of typical things they expect to someone on the autistic spectrum to have and I’m like, this is a load of like absolute rubbish.”
Closing statement:
“Don’t assume and if you are going to make assumptions assume ability”
If you would like to read some of the feedback and consultation work that member’s of ATLAS work on, you can find out more on our ‘Monthly News‘ page!
Please check out our ‘Get Involved‘ page if you are interested in joining ATLAS.
Recently ATLAS members have been discussing what new starters to the group might want to know before their first session!
A member of the group who joined recently suggested that having some information about what the group could be like or what was involved would have been really helpful.
Together, members made a mind map to express what they thought a week as a member may include!
A screenshot of the mind map made by ATLAS members
ATLAS Surrey 